Wrapping love around a wound

My six year old with the strong limbs, he is a fighter. He knows what he wants and his will is like a beautiful rod of steel - unyielding. I love this about him. I prayed for this when he was in the womb. It's a gift but it challenges me daily. I didn't realize that the thing I prayed for would be the very thing that would shave the edges of my character in rather a painful way. I wasn't asking for that part of the bargain, I didn't know it was the other side of the coin.
The most humbling part about parenting a child like him is that I find myself raising my voice and saying, "Calm down!" and then the mirror is put back on me and I see myself as anything but calm. Yes, it brings me back to earth.
Last night we sat in candlelight together and talked about why Jesus died on the cross and how He forgives us. I was able to look Luke in the eye and say "I'm sorry." I named a specific situation and apologized for getting frustrated and angry. He forgave me. The sin was wiped clean.
I know I need to see the log in my own eye before I point out the speck in another's but it's so much easier to see someone else's shortcomings. It takes humility to take an honest look at my own heart first. Doing this models something greater to my kids than a lecture could ever achieve. They are watching while I admit to my anger and frustration and it paves the way for them to say sorry, with a genuine spirit, for the things they have done wrong. Anger separates, it causes division. Saying sorry is like wrapping love around that wound and allowing it to be healed.
We all long for the love to be wrapped around us and none of us are perfect so the grace of forgiveness is the salve we all need.


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